HomeThe Mad Tea PartySeditionist ‘Patriot’ Leader Vows to Remove Obama From Office This Friday!

Seditionist ‘Patriot’ Leader Vows to Remove Obama From Office This Friday!

We’ve spent so much time laughing at the treasonous idiots at the Bundy Ranch that we almost forgot: IT’S ALMOST TIME FOR OPERATION AMERICAN SPRING! That’s right, folks–Strap on those tin-foil hats because in two days, on Friday the 16th, organizers say that TEN to THIRTY MILLION ‘Patriots’ (if you include the voices in their heads) will converge on Washington, DC to restore the Constitution and take ‘ MURIKA back from the dirty, filthy, Muslim paws of Barry Soetoro and his traitorous allies.

“We are calling for the removal of Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, Nancy Pelosi, and Eric Holder as a start toward constitutional restoration,” said retired Army Col. Harry Riley, leader of the Operation American Spring protest group. “They have all abandoned the US Constitution, are unworthy to be retained in a position that calls for servant status.”

As we all know, that tyrant Barack Obama has no qualms with mercilessly slaughtering dissenters. Look at what he did to all those people in Nevada! What? They’re all alive and well? LIBERAL LIES! As all true PATRIOTS know, Barack Obama–excuse us, Barry Soetoro‘s stormtroopers descended on Bundy Ranch and wiped out the freedom-loving militias and, of course, Cliven Bundy himself, replacing them with government spyborgs whose mission is to infiltrate and destroy TRUE PATRIOT movements from within!

The “activists” plan to replace the displaced lawmakers with people of their own choosing who will then move quickly “to sponsor and pass very Constitutionally crafted State legislation to dissolve the size, powers, scope and spending of the U.S. Government by 2/3rds.” Of course, they also expect “incremental nullification” by state legislatures of “all withholding taxes, employment taxes, employer taxes, and income taxes,” which they say will “effectively DOUBLE the size of ALL American Middle Class family weekly paychecks and cause our local city and town economies to boom.”

Judson Phillips, founder of Tea Party Nation, says “There is no way a militia with small arms can defeat the kind of arms the U.S. government can bring to bear on such a battle, but one has to admire the courage of those people who showed up to confront them,” adding, “That’s quintessentially American!”

These brave patriots will be showing up to TAKE ‘MURIKA BACK, despite the very real threats of drone strikes, purges, binges, kerfuffles, oppression, and ‘Murika-hating Socialist, Communist, Muslim, Anti-Christian, Forefather-Hating, White Jesus-Destroying…look, we don’t know where we’re going with this. It’s hard to decide which slurs and ridiculous statements these folks will use this week.

One thing is for certain: There’s going to be a lot of stupid gathered in one place. Well, unless it turns out like Ride for the Constitution, which had a depressing turnout because most truckers aren’t idiots.

About John Prager

John Prager
John Prager is an unfortunate Liberal soul who lives uncomfortably in the middle of a Conservative hellscape and likes to refer to himself as an "island of reason in a sea of insanity." While he is not a fan of politicians, period, he has developed a deep-seated hatred for the bigotry, fear mongering, and lies of the Right Wing. John also works as a warden at one of Barry Soetoro's FEMA re-education camps and as a HAARP weather control coordinator. He can be reached at americanlesionx@gmail.com if you have any questions or comments.

30 comments

  1. I really do hope that the Secret Service is waiting with open arms…and a Metro Bus…there should be plenty of free seats after all. They can give the Colonel a free tour of DC…all the way to Federal Court…where he can listen and learn all about what SEDITION and TREASON mean…and what those charges sound like…then await trial in a cell where his new friends Bubba, Cletus and Cooter can show him first hand!

  2. Prediction: total turnout will be less than three digits.

  3. Almost makes me wish those FEMA concentration camps were real… ;-)

  4. Somebody forgot to take their meds and may have been given a pointy object.

  5. Not how a DEMOCRACY works. Teatards are starting to get more and more rediculous

  6. Randall Patton

    The constitution was amended years ago, even back when the bill of rights was added it was outdated.

  7. LMAO…most of the few hundred people that would attend this “event” are already in Nevada with Cliven Bundy :) LMAO

  8. All you will hear from them , “you said they wouldn’t shoot back, I’m going home”

  9. Way to ruin a good song, I wonder if they have ever seen Twisted Sister?

  10. Here’s what would happen if all taxes and withholding were eliminated: employers would cut wages. After all, we were surviving on our take-home, so we obviously don’t need it. Better to sock it away overseas and never do anything with it (such as create jobs, provide services, or any of those other pesky things that require actually spending money).

  11. If Obama was the bloodthristy tyrant they claim he is all of these so-called patriots would have lost their heads long ago. In fact the fence surrounding the White House would be decorated with their heads.

  12. Crap. Might hafta take the day off Friday. Traffic’s gonna suck….. oh…. wait…

  13. iam thinking the over under on how many people show up should be 100

  14. Funny how they weren’t so insistent that the president should be “in servant status” 7 years ago…

  15. 10 to 30,000,000 huh? I’m guessing it is going to be closer to ten people.

  16. This is going to be another bad episode of the “Vacation” series. I wonder what their Griswold machine will look like.

  17. Yeah what brave heros as a liberal I’m terrified etc… etc… I expect 0 to a billion million will show up

  18. Go ahead Riley “Make Our Day.”

  19. So let me get this straight, they are going to physically remove these people from office, then insert their own players to make things the way they want them to be. Nothing like following the Constitution by inserting your own players. Heck if it was that easy I know a Bush that would have been removed long before he put us all in this mess in the first place!! The delusional are so amusing.

  20. Steven Burkhardt

    Didn’t this retired colonel take the oath when he was entering the military? So it sounds like he is the one who is a traitor. Really, trying to overthrow the dually elected government and he calls himself a patriot? No one will show, even the founders of this crackpot outfit

  21. THIRTY MILLION MISSING PATRIOTS!

    WHAT IS OBUMMA DOING TO FIND THEM?

    CAN I PLEASE GET A AMBER ALERT?!!???

  22. Yeah, it was a real turnout! Mill..I mean hundreds showed up. I have a friend who was all about jumping on this bandwagon. He then proceeded to slam the people he so vehemently defended a few days previous after the event failed miserably. Calling them unpatriotic losers yet he saw fit to watch it on the interwebz on some live feed.
    These people are delusional at best. If any one of these gun-toting right wing turdbags bothered to study an 8th grade civics book they’d realize just how stupid they are. I guess ya can’t expect much from people who call themselves “The Militia” when they clearly mean vigilante. There is only one standing militia in the U.S. and it happens to be the national guard, not these mouth-breathing simpletons.
    Still, it must be nice living in their fantasy world where the poor are destroyed or sequestered away from them and anyone who disagrees with their right-wing christian fundamentalist bureaucracy will be mercilessly slaughtered as an example of good ol’ red-blooded ‘Murikan critical thinking.
    These people need to secede from the U.S. and go live on an island somewhere so they can fight over who gets to be the leader of the unintelligent. Being the smartest idiot in the village isn’t much better’n being the dumbest. At the end of the day they’re still idiots.

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